Help! My Baby Came Without Instructions!

For the new moms in your life this Mother's Day! All the tips and tricks to keeping baby (and Mom) happy.

Buy it now!

Update on JD

Day 29 and JD is still in the hospital. There's a rumor that he might be discharged this week, but no official word yet from anyone.

I am looking into different options for his schooling. There's no way we can expect success trying to get him up at 5AM to catch a two-hour ride to school on the bus.

Ah - the doctor just called as I was typing this. JD is stabilizing, but he'd like to see him even more stabilized. There are still outbursts and meltdowns, so we just play it by ear day by day. And that's good. I'd hate to have him come home and then have to send him back.

So the plan is to keep on keeping on. If the meds he's on now work and keep working, yay! If not, the doctor will review things and try other meds.

So, thank you so much for your prayers! I'll keep you posted.

April 20, 2008 - Happy Birthday, JD!!

Happy 11th Birthday,

John Daniel!

April is birthday month

April 5 - Auntie Kate, Rachel, Nicole
April 10 - Cousin Junior
April 15 - Cousin Sarah
April 20 - John Daniel
April 29 - Moi!
May 5 - My Dad, Papa
May 8 - Aiden

I've gotten smarter over the years and started birthday shopping at Christmas. Gotta take advantage of those sales. Now to remember what I bought and for whom...and just where did I stash it all??? :)

He Is A Boy Therefore He Eats

©Lisa Barker

My oldest son is a large boy and will definitely be tall when he’s older. For now he’s a ten-year old garbage disposal with legs.

I don’t know why I’m talking. I’m a two hundred pound woman that eats like a garbage disposal. I’m not fat yet, but I am fluffy.

Still, I can’t keep up with the boy. When he comes home from school he hoovers down a snack tray that would make a full-grown man proud due to the quantity: one bagel, an apple, some pistachios, some cheese, a soup cup, celery with peanut butter and a Popsicle.

“You know a snack is supposed to just get you from lunch to dinner. It’s something to tide you over,” I told him.

“Oh,” he laughs mildly as if I’ve told a real bad joke and he’s humoring me. “Can I have another piece of celery with peanut butter?”

Well at least it’s not McDonald’s.

I’m glad he’s ten-years old. I don’t have to nurse him. I don’t think they make a bra that large for the milk I’d have to produce. I’d be known as the three-headed woman.

I almost earned that title when he was but a wee nursling. I had to give him a relief bottle just so I could be unattached for an hour a day. He thought it was dessert.

He’s never been a picky eater. He just never wanted baby food. It didn’t matter if it was homemade. He wanted what was on my plate. So I had to mash that right in front of him and give it to him. And how dare I eat anything from my own plate. If looks could kill...

That is probably when I developed the habit of eating in the shadows of the kitchen at night with the lights turned low, ducking behind the counter. I had to make up for all of my meals given to him. No doubt he smelled my indulgence on my breath when I kissed him good night. Maybe that’s why he refused to speak until he was two years old. He was giving me the silent treatment.

So now he’s in a growth spurt that will last him, oh, thirteen years or so. Yikes. I already spend more time at Super Max than I do in my own kitchen. Thank God for rotisserie chicken. When I shop I’m the mad woman buying up things that can be eaten right from the grocery sack.

“How was your dinner, son?”

“Great! But the outside was a little dry.”

“That’s called paper.”

He gives me that mild laugh again.

“No, really,” I say, following him to the freezer for dessert, “You just ate the grocery sack....”

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Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker, mother of five and author of "Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane...Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" and is syndicated through Parent To Parent™. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave comments, please visit http://www.jellymom.com. Sign up for the complimentary Jelly Mom™ weekly newsletter and receive a BONUS GIFT!

How I spent the last three months...

Hello,

It's been awhile since I could post. Had some difficulties in the beginning of February with an online community I run. That took up a lot of my time.

Then, Boo had the flu twice in two weeks. Poor little girl.

Stuff happened in March, but I can't remember what. I did get to go on a much needed retreat with some mom friends. Nothing like a little decompression time.

Oh, yeah...there was a major holiday in there. Happy Easter, everyone!

I am also a brand new Auntie (again) to a wonderful little nephew named Keegan. *HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE*

April 1, my 10-yr old son (bipolar) was hospitalized. He's still in the hospital. Doing well, but not quite ready to come home. Hopefully this will be the turning point for him and the beginning of some wonderful chapters in his life. He's really under good care and we should finally be able to iron out those last niggling kinks regarding his mood disorder, but those who are familiar with bipolar disorder know that it's a lifelong process.

Hope you all are well. Thank yo for your continued prayers.

Lisa

I Dream Therefore I Am...An Insect

©Lisa Barker

I dreamt I was a fruit fly. A little white fruit fly flying among thousands of fruit flies. I was looking for my husband. But he had flown off because he was in the military service (of fruit flies, of course).

So I flew to Australia to see his mom because I knew she could help. She turned me into a two-inch fruit fly doll, just like the whole family. They lived in a tree house with one entire side of the house open toward the ocean. The whole family gathered and posed facing the ocean, so I turned to see why and there was a man taking our family portrait. When he put the camera down I saw it was my husband in human form. And then I woke up.

You see the problem with my dreams is that they defy standard dream dictionary definitions. I have yet to discover what it means when one dreams she is a fruit fly.

Many times I’ve dreamt I am a mermaid, symbolizing feminine traits deep in the subconscious. But what good does this do me when deep down I am a fruit fly?

My family gets a kick out of the dreams I share with them unless, of course, the dream happens to be about my husband or children doing something wrong or annoying and I wake up and blame them for something they have no idea about.

Like if I dream that my husband works all the time and never comes home. Yet I’m never home because I lost my house and can’t find it. This really aggravates me and somehow it’s his fault and I let him have it when I wake up.

Other times I dream that my kids will not listen to me and after a night of yelling in my sleep, “You better leave that dam alone!” I’m in no mood for them first thing in the morning.

“But, Momma, we didn’t do anything!”

“Oh, yes you did. Last night you kept letting the water out of the dam and how many times have I told you not to do that?” They never had a good answer.

In my most recent dream, I was my husband and he was me. “So,” he wanted to know, “when you kissed me were you kissing yourself?”

“No, I was like an omniscient first person narrator. I was inside both our heads.”

“And what did I think?”

“That you should probably get me some diamonds for Valentine’s Day.”

“Yeah, right.”

Well, they say if you can dream it, you can achieve it. Maybe I will get jewelry for Valentines Day. Or maybe I’ll just get an aging bunch of bananas, fruit fly that I am.

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Jelly Mom™ is written by Lisa Barker, mother of five and author of "Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane...Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" and is syndicated through Parent To Parent™. To publish Jelly Mom, buy the book or leave comments, please visit http://www.jellymom.com. Sign up for the complimentary Jelly Mom™ weekly newsletter and receive a BONUS GIFT!

aa

How to weigh yourself....

Got this in my email today.

Can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years!

What I MEANT to say...

A column that went out in my newsletter today got a lot of positive responses. But it wasn't the final version! I'm going to have to fire my secretary. Oh, yeah, that's me.

Here's the one you should have recieved. :) :):)

This Old House Has Children
©Lisa Barker

My house is old, it creaks and moans
Like my aging body and aching bones.
It needs new cabinets, paint and flooring.
It's not the house to come adoring.
But yet my house is like my soul,
Aged and accented by life's toll.
What seems 'not new' to some who look
Is really just a sacred book.

Nicks and scratches and carpet stains
Are just clear proof of labor pains.
Just like stretch marks on my abdomen,
My house has borne my chil-der-ren.
There's more than toys sprawled on the floor,
There's creaking, crooked, screen-less doors.
Weeds grow in the garden, too,

Our little house is no longer new.

It'll never show in magazines
With fresh painted walls and color schemes.
Here and there a hole or two,
A sagging sofa that once was blue
But now is covered with a throw,
The very first thing to go
When in come the children to bounce, bounce, bounce.
It's not a museum it's a house.

Bikes out on the patchy lawn,
Hopscotch in the driveway drawn.
A basketball hoop and one crushed rose.
I told those kids to be careful with those!
Fingerprints on all the doors,
A leak or two when it pours.
Windows wiggled off the track,
Artwork on the wall is tacked.

Crooked pictures on the wall
A noisy gang, a boisterous brawl!
They bustle 'round from dawn to dusk,
Making cleaning and repairs a must.
But all these woes must take a number,
It's my children's hearts and sense of wonder
That are number one for happy Mother...
I really doubt I'd like my druthers.

Because....

I sometimes pine for an immaculate house;
When I scrub the floors and walls I grouse.
But the reality is plain to see,
My children mean a lot to me.
Without them I'd be on my own
My house would never feel like home
There I'd sit with pretty stuff,
Temporal trappings and mindless fluff.

So, dear moms, when you are sad and wonder why
Your home will never ever fly
And pass inspection by the stylish kind,
Take a moment to unwind.
And please remember someday soon,
You'll have lots of time to clean each room.
Off to college and brand new lives
Your children will leave before your eyes.

Enjoy them while they're still at home
And maybe one day when they're grown
A knock on the door you'll rush to greet
The happy grandchildren at your feet.
Screams and giggles and cookies, too,
Butterfly kisses just for you,
Fingerprints and tipped over cups...
God has blessed you oh so much!

LISA BARKER of Greenfield is a syndicated humor columnist and mom of five. Her "Jelly Mom" column appears Monday in Living. Barker's latest book is "Just Because Your Kids Drive You Insane ... Doesn't Mean You Are A Bad Parent!" See http://www.jellymom.com/ for more information.

New book reviews!

Lots of great books for children here: http://www.jellymom-bookreviews.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

I'm here to stay!

A few blogs back I shared that I was pondering what to do with Jelly Mom. It was a long ponder - roughly six months. Should I stay or should I go?

The answer: I'm here to stay!

I'm really excited to be working on the second book. After a little bit of polishing and tweaking it should be ready this year for print. I want to say before Mother's Day, but you all know I have my hands full, so I will not say a word about a specific date until that book is ready to be ordered through your local book store and online. :)

Boo is doing better. So my stress has reduced. The black cloud is moving on and the sun is shining (all in my head) but it's just what the muse needed, a little sun to thaw out from this dank winter.

My oldest girls (8th graders) are taking a college algebra class so they can start highschool next year a year ahead of the game. I'm so proud of them! They want to go to college and they are really taking their education seriously. But I'll make sure they have time for fun and that won't really require too much effort on my part. They are very good at keeping a good balance. Did I say I was so proud of them?

My oldest son has made a positive turn. He's really commiting himself to school and I am so happy for him. I pray it's not just a streak, but a real lasting effort. I really am proud of him, but I can't say that too loud because he jinxes himself when I say that. :)

My youngest (son) is a riot. I got him a kindy workbook and he could do it with his brain tied behind his back. He just doesn't have the skill to write numbers and letters well, but he can recognize them. He's trying. Like with all the kids, it's a matter of keeping up with him when it comes to learning. He gobbles up everything and he thinks it's all great fun. Win-win.

Well, I posted a few new book reviews tonight/day and will be posting many more over the next three days. I hope you enjoy these books as much as I have. There are some real winners.

Dr. Dude Man comforts Boo

It looks like Boo will now be degenerating toward a vegetative state. We believe she is blind and will confirm this with her eye doc as soon as she is healthy enough to get out and about (she's had the flu). It could be that her brain just isn't able to tell her eyes how to respond; that she lacks awareness due to the degeneration of her brain. Her pupils don't respond to light and she doesn't seem to register any recognition visually.

I'm going to lean on you...

Here is something I posted on my favorite (one and only) message board. It's an update on Boo.

Lean on Me
by Bill Withers

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me

So just call on me brother, when you need a hand
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Lean on me...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Quote:
--------------------------------------------
Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show
--------------------------------------------

I've been listening to this song and that stanza stood out for me.

I was just talking with some moms about how no one really knows what to do or say to me regarding Boo.

Then, duh! How can you lean on somebody if you don't let them know what you need?

So I need you all to sing with me today.

Jesus was good to us, by showing us how to carry our crosses and lean on the Simons and Veronicas in our lives...and later return the favor.

Here's what Boo is going through, the parts in red have already happened.

Your child’s development will start to slow down and stop in the second year. Over the next year he or she will lose skills previously learned, become increasingly unsteady, and develop epileptic seizures. The seizures can take the form of ‘drop-attacks’, jerks of the limbs or generalised convulsions. Over the following months and years the normal developmental skills (talking, walking, sitting, responding to surroundings) go into reverse so that he or she becomes as dependent as a new born baby again and vision deteriorates until eventually it is almost lost. The condition is not a painful one and your child will not be aware of what is happening. The brain’s control of the muscles responsible for chewing, swallowing, coughing and so on eventually becomes affected so assistance with a feeding tube may be needed, and chestiness will develop and may lead to infections and increasing physical weakness. Eventually the combination of the diseased brain and physical weakness becomes too great to sustain life, and death usually occurs between the ages of eight and twelve years. As a parent or carer you will be aware of your child’s increasing frailty, and death is usually relatively peaceful and expected when the time comes.

She's 6 years old right now and the life expectancy is 7 - 15 (closer to 12) and we've always thought that any time past her sixth birthday is extra.

I wasn't going to share any of this, but I was praying on it (and listening to the song) and thought, okay, I would.

Just knowing you all pray for us, holds us up.

New website for moms by moms

http://www.baby-how.com

Looks like a great site for new moms...the more that participate, the more the site will grow!

Boo on the mend

Well, we took Boo to the ER last week to get a professional enema. And then poor girl got hit hard by the flu.

She's finally pulling through. It was rough weathering a fever and tummy upset, but she's feeling much better now. So that's where I have been.

Hey, if you like cats, I am starting a new blog for fun: http://www.catsandallthat.blogspot.com

Boo's new blankie!

Thanks to a very creative and loving friend, Boo has a new lap blankie. It's the perfect color and size!

Big day for Boo! ...and news about her in general.

Tuesday night she rolled over THREE times! She hasn't done that in SIX months. I can tell that she REALLY wants to do so much more. She wants to get up and go. And I don't know how to help her. Breaks my heart.

She doesn't seem to be aware of much and then here and there you see the 'old' Boo. She's in there somewhere. I talk to her all the time. I try to remember she's six years old even though she's very much like a baby so I speak a mixture of baby coos and big girl talk.

The rest of the week has been difficult. Troubles with her G.I. tract. Please pray for Boo's comfort and happiness. I slept with her part of the night last night. Kept soothing her as she whimpered in her sleep. Poor little girl.

Today we went for a ride in the van. Boo's big sisters will start highschool next year but they are going to take some math classes at the college this spring. So we took a drive to the next town and I think Boo just enjoyed getting out.

But she is getting too heavy for me to lift up into the van and take out. When we got back home I was backing out of the van with her in my arms and lost my balance. Somehow I landed on my feet - a miracle! Truly, it had to be. But I think I am going to start telling the doctors we won't be coming in for check-ups. They are going to have to have some nurses come to the house now and then to check her out.

The physical therapists talked about getting a lift for the van, but I don't know. I'm not sure how much time she has. She's much weaker this year, the meds aren't really helping the seizures, they're pretty hard on her and are lasting up to thirty seconds sometimes.

Happy Holidays!

Bec is hanging in there. She's being weaned from one medication for seizures and slowly starting a newer one. But she's still having seizures and she sleeps a lot (part due to the medication and part due to the illness progressing).

Aiden is enjoying all his gifts from Santa and his elves (from Hugs & Hope). The older kids are out visiting this week and I'll bet they are having a GREAT time. Part of their plans included a visit to the snow.

My husband is home for another long weekend - I LOVE the holidays! :) :)

New Year's Resolutions
This year I am thinking of things I'd like to do that I haven't done in awhile or that I want to try for the first time. I'd like to sketch some of our cats and finish painting the kids' bedrooms (one is a pirate theme and the other is ocean life).

What do you have on your New Year's list?

Jelly Mom, Yay or Nay?
For months I have been debating whether or not I will continue with Jelly Mom. I'm trying to cut down the stress in my life and sometimes coming up with something funy every week while I nurse Boo and deal with my bipolar son (while being bipolar myself) is just too much.

I have to brainstorm. I like writing and I like Jelly Mom, but I've come up against a brick wall and can't seem to go any further with it. I really need help developing book covers so they look more professional. I'd like to get into more papers OR figure out how to reach more people via the Internet.

So I'm praying on it. Maybe it's time for some new cheese.

Book Reviews
Do you like children's books? January thorugh October I review Children's books and post new reviews at the end of each month. Check it out!

Here's to a happy and blessing filled new year to all of you! Thank you so much for reading Jelly Mom! You're the best!

-Lisa

In a letter to my sister I said...

Ugh. I'm trudging along. The day before Thanksgiving JD was revved up. Didn't think I was going to get any baking done and thought T-day would be a day late for us, but it all worked out and everything I cooked or baked came out really, really well. It turned out to be a nice leisurely day, you know, except for the all day cooking marathon. :)

We lost two cats last week within 2-3 days. They were poisoned from eating antifreeze. Now all our cats are indoor-only cats. So it's an adjustment but we just don't want to lose any more.

PJ (fat black cat/female - Colie's cat, the third she's lost and the second she's lost this year!) started throwing up around 7PM on Wednesday. It got worse and by 1AM she was staggering. I could tell that she was dying, but we took her to the emergency vet hoping she could be stabilized and we could get her through whatever was wrong. The good news was that if she had ingested any of our medication it would not have killed her. But I am paranoid when I dispense it and no pill that's dropped is ever left unfound, so I was pretty sure it wasn't that. Turned out to be antifreeze and she'd had such a massive dose she went very quickly that night instead of over the course of a few days...

...which is what happened to Mr. Brown. He came home to die Friday evening sometime and we found him in the front yard Saturday morning.

So I have been busy helping each of the older kids get through. I think it makes them think of Boo, too.

And she's been in her room for the last few days with a heater to keep her warm because she has a head cold. She's been having big seizures since early November. They last about 15 seconds and she really thrashes about. They have increased her medication twice, but there's been no significant change for the better so next week I need to take her to Stanford. I think she will be moving on to a new medication soon.

She's got a nagging head cold that leaves her congested. She's also having trouble laying on her back and choking on her spit. So, since she's in her room most days all day we gave her one of her Christmas presents early (a Hello Kitty boombox) soo she can listen to Christmas music. We also got a VCR so she can watch all the disney tapes we have but haven't figured out hw to set it up yet with all the other stuff. May have to exchange it. That's a disappointment. So I am waiting on Simon to see what need sto be done.

JD got suspended awhile back (but recently). We told him no more suspensions or he will miss out on Christmas. So no more suspensions, but there have been big upsets at school. Still he pulled that together and then the death of the cats last week has him feeling out of sorts. The therapist is making a home visit next week to star the ball rolling to help him out with stuff at home.

I got most of my Christmas shopping done and have taken the kids out to do theirs. We got the tree up and the lights on. Slowly cleaning so we can decorate.

I'm trying to get as much as I can done work-wise before the 17th when the kids' vacations start. I want to bake cookies with them and decorate. Take things slower. I hope I can knock out a few columns before then so I don't have to worry about that.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Father all-powerful,
Your gifts of love are countless
and Your goodness infinite.
On Thanksgiving Day we come before You
with gratitude for Your kindness:
open our hearts to concern for our fellow men and women,
so that we may share Your gifts in loving service.

We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
Who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.

Amen.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do not get tired of doing what is good. Don't get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time.
- Galatians 6:9

Thank you for your service!

This year the kids and I 'adopted' a soldier and sent a care package out. They had fun shopping with me and choosing different items to include in the box.

I think the boys were trying to wrap the idea of a 'girl' soldier around their brains. They only think of G.I. Joe.

Picking out the items was an eye opener for them because many things we selected are things we take for granted like baby powder, chicken noodle soup, gum and playing cards.

Thanks to all who serve in the armed forces. God bring you home safe and sound - SOON!

My other first baby.

Twins are fun.

Mine taught me how to be a momma and how to hug. I wasn't much of a hugger before I had kids, but I am now. :)

This is my FIRST baby!

I can't believe she's 13! (See the monkey in the background?)

That's not just a t-shirt she's wearing. She IS a super girl.

The Boy.

You can see the tail end of an orca and great white shark that I painted on the boys' bedroom wall.

This January I plan to start finishing my bedroom projects. The boys need some kelp, sardines, a manta ray and maybe a gray whale in their room.

The girls have a pirate theme going. We have some posters to frame and hang up...and a little touch of this and that should complete the theme in their room.

Sugar Booger's Spongebob walls are complete and a friend just made her some Spongebob curtains, so those will need to be hung up.

Pray for JD (above). He's having a hard time dealing with his sister's illness. Outwardly he seems to be the same old kid, but his thoughts are full of bad things...Becca being sick and dying, the death of a cat earlier this year. He's worried that more bad stuff like that will happen, that maybe other people in the family will die.

Bad stuff happens, I told him. But good stuff happens, too. So we will get through it all together...and with lots of hugs.

Speaking of monkeys...

Here's a pic of Aiden back in June when Grandad and Nana visited.

He's busy and bossy and into everyone's business. The boy can't stand still, he has to hop in place.

He's a lot of fun. :)

Boogs is holding her own.

She's still having more seizures than we'd like her to have, but for now she's holding her own so long as she gets her medicine at the exact times every day.

No doubt, though, that she will need to have her dosages increased or start a whole new medication.

These cards are fun & educational!

My kids love them. I do, too! Each GoFish for Wildlife card has a stunning photo of wildlife and the name of the animal in English and Spanish. The WILD Cards packs and the Amazing Places card pack also have stunning photos with info about each subject.

With each deck you can play Memory, Old Maid or Go Fish and learn something about the world and wildlife.

Read all about them here.

New column up!

Check it out: www.JellyMom.com

Boo Update

So far so good. We're adjusting meds for now to see how that goes. Part of it is that she needs three doses a day to keep it in her system (we weren't doing that, yet she had done fine for a month or two), the other part is old fat Boo had gained those ten pounds, remember?

:)

Ms. Chub-a-wub is kicking back in her bean bag watching angels...what we call it when she looks up at nothing and satrts cooing and smiling. :) :)

Pray for Boo!

She had a really big seizure last night that hit her very hard. It lasted for about 15 seconds and we think she had one early this morning in bed.

She's only had very small ones and the medicine had (up to this point) prevented those. So these are quite a surprise and I will be calling her neurologist today.

Keep her in your prayers. She is otherwise, happy and bubbly, cooing and singing/talking in her own little way.